Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

Bursts of Gold


The last post was about losing the one and only rose in the bush to a thievin’ bastard.

Well, THIS post is a happy one 🙂

First, because there have been more roses blooming and the plant is doing wonderfully well – photos below.

Second, because I managed to sneak in a post for November, therefore NOT ruining my mission of having a full calendar of posts on my blog 😉

Back to the roses. What a pleasurable sight to see in the morning, when I leave the house. Can you imagine anything more bright, cheery and gorgeous?

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Lonely.


I spent 11 days in Malaysia, visiting family and friends, constantly surrounded by loved ones and engaging in conversation, that to come home to an empty house here in Perth leaves an empty feeling in my soul.

I miss my boyfriend so much. He is away on holidays at the moment and won’t be back for a while. It’s just not the same without him. The dinners in front of the TV, the drives, the walks in the park, feeding the ducks (and having our stale bread scoffed at by the black swan)… I miss all these things.

I know I used to complain about how he can sometimes be ‘overly spontaneous’, like suggesting we go for a quick walk and it ending up an excursion, when I’ve got a pile of Uni work to finish and can’t afford long, meandering walks… but now, I miss it. I need a welcome distraction from the stress of my uni work which is threatening to bury me.

It doesn’t help that I haven’t heard from him since yesterday afternoon. I hope he’s okay. I mean, I know he is, but it’s still not nice missing them and not being able to hear their voice. He’s having phone problems (battery is dead or something), and he usually sends me an email a day but… so far, nothing.

I just miss him so much! It’s been 2 weeks since our mini-airport scene where I saw him properly tear up for the first time ever, as I got ready to board the plane to KL.

Just thinking about it gives me a lump in my throat.

 

Read Full Post »


I have a question, folks…

How many of you look back at trysts from your past (and I don’t mean very long ago I’m talking as recently as the end of ’09, onwards) and feel.. wtf was I thinking? Who WAS I at that time to want to date THAT person? UGH!!

I was on Facebook and looking through my photos, friends list and friend’s friends, it made me think…

… why on earth did I give THAT guy the time of day?

I think it really depends on your frame of mind at the time… I can kind of trace how I was feeling and what was happening in my life just by looking at guys I’ve dated / gone on dates with. And I have to say, boy am I glad I’m where I’m at now!

Where I’m headed seems a more positive place, too. Only good things to look forward to in the future. Salut!

Read Full Post »


The flow of dough right now is currently one-way.

Going out:

– Rent

– Bills

– Groceries

– Fuel

– Parking

Coming in:

– ???

– #$@%#**!!

Those are my main expenses. I haven’t eaten out in ages. Well, I ate out on Monday night with Gaya – we had Japanese. Even then, dinner cost me $13.50 for fresh, raw salmon and tuna on rice. BIIIIG bowl, not too bad of a price. So it’s not like I’m going crazy and eating out at fancy-schmancy places every night, spending cash like there’s no tomorrow.

I eat most of my meals at home (well, Amir’s home anyway). We cook. Sometimes it’s something really awesome (his bolognese, my chicken/beef curry, his healthy baked trout with veggies, my baked chicken and potaotes…)

Sometimes, when money’s tight (or time – hey, we’re both busy people!), it’s… not so awesome (Indomie, scrambled eggs on toast for dinner, TOAST for dinner, a sanger for dinner… you get the picture).

Bottom line: I haven’t been spending money on frivolous, luxury items.

It’s the everyday things, bills, and so on, that have caused my bank balance to slowly head south for the winter. And guess what? There ain’t no money coming in, nuh-uh, oh no you di’in’t girlfriend.

Why?

I. Still. Can’t. Work.

No, not because of my achy breaky back (which still causes me to fantasize about firebombing that house in Bateman where that jerkoff lives).

Because of my bloody visa situation.

I’m still on a bridging visa which allows me to stay here and attend Uni, but

… no permission to work.

UGH!

Throw me a friggin’ bone here!

Sometimes, a girl just wants to have fun. Luckily I was able to go out shopping the other day with Gaya because Amir had given me, as a gift for Nawruz, a gift card at a leading department store here in Perth. So I bought myself a new handbag and some other odds and ends. It was fun to shop for pretty things again!

Plus, sometimes I just like eating well. I like spending a little extra money on premium fruit and vegetables. Or on that extra lean, extra delicious cut of meat. Or on that lovely fresh fillet of salmon or trout. And not have to worry that this one meal may be the death of my bank balance.

Meanwhile, I have rent, bills, petrol and weekly groceries to pay for. And trust me, I ain’t the fussy kind when it comes to food. I like good food, but I can basically make myself survive on poor-Uni-student fare like instant noodles, toast and nutella (or Nutino if you’re really on a budget), $1 canned tuna (which come in flavours so you can pretend you’re eating a lovely, hearty curry or even a full-blown Italian meal with sundried tomatoes and basil… oh, who am I kidding!).

But good nutrition has got to come from somewhere, sometime! Or my body’s f*cked! And I care about my health just as much as the next person (maybe more!). Every time I go grocery shopping, I am armed with a list of items that I saw were on special that week. I haven’t paid full price for an item in ages! Sometimes it is to my own detriment. Like buying the cheap meat (reduced by 30%!) and then opening the package only to be punched in the nose with a smell that I believe is reserved for an abandoned abattoir. Or something the cat dragged in.

I don’t know if it’s because I am disorganised and procrastinating (as usual) but I am also so overwhelmed with Uni work that I am not even sure how much I’d be able to work even IF I was able to (with the Permission to Work thingy that comes with a Student Visa). Still, people have been telling me about jobs that I could definitely get that pay like $20 an hour or more… geez! I’m dying for a job like that! So close, yet so far.

*Sigh*

Read Full Post »

Challenge Yourself.


I’ve been at Uni, doing my Graduate Diploma in Education (Secondary) at ECU.

That’s one of the main reasons why I’ve been AWOL when it comes to this blog (sorry, Danu!!!).

This week has been especially challenging. It’s professional practice week, a 1-week orientation/observation prac to get acquainted with this whole teaching thingymajiggy.

Although I’m not a complete newbie to teaching (I did 8 weeks of teaching during my CELTA course last year), this is a whole different ballgame.

Teenagers are involved.

Remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, 16??

It was stressful. A hormone-filled time of dizzying confusion. When you were trying to carve out your own niche, yet at the same time feeling compelled to conform to the status quo, to belong, to fit in with your peers. A phase in your life where you felt so afraid, so incapable, so helpless, so uncomfortable in your own skin (or was it just me?).

In any case, I find myself fighting the automatic reaction in my mind (“ugh, stinkin’ teenagers!”) whenever they do or say something insolent or obnoxious, and trying to remember what it was like for me at the time.

It has been an interesting, scary and exciting experience so far. I haven’t actually taught a full class but I have participated in lessons and conducted pop quizzes (which I’m sure they just LOVE). I am getting to know the kids a bit more, learning as many names as I can for when I return in May for 4 weeks (yikes! Caffeine, here I come!).

I didn’t realise just how exhausting it is to be a teacher. That is, a real teacher who takes her job seriously and actually cares what the students are up to and how they perform. I come home every day, at the latest by 4.30pm, and I am SPENT. I crash on the couch and watch an episode of “Charmed” (…I have no excuse for this), then fall asleep in bed for an hour. Then I get up and drag myself to the dining room table where I have been doing most of my work (can’t, just CAN’T work in my room, too distracting what with the bed yelling at me to come and sleep all the time).  And I get fuck all done, and it’s already bedtime.

God am I tired. I didn’t think teaching was gonna be easy, but boy did I not realise how much it takes out of you.

Phew!

Aaaannnddd of course I’ve had NO social life for the past week. Which basically means I have spent all of two hours in total over the last week with my boyfriend. Ugh. I miss him! I miss my friends! I miss my family!!!!

Boo hoo. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Inayah.

Read Full Post »

Floating in Limbo


I’ve been back in Perth for a week now.

How lovely it was to touch down at 530am, get through immigration quickly, and see my bag almost as soon as I got to the carousel at baggage claim. I had no problems getting through customs either. It was all really quick and easy, really.

The flight was okay – I never really sleep well while flying anyway. I had gotten maybe a grand total of 2 hours’ sleep. I was TIRED.

But when I walked through the exit and into the arrivals lounge, my eyes scanning the crowd for my new boyfriend (of less than 2 months), I felt my lethargy melt away when I saw him. Standing there, smiling at me, waving.

I walked up to him, we embraced and the first words he said to me: “I missed you.”

It was lovely. I had been away for just over 3 weeks. A long time to be away from someone you just got together with. Nevertheless, the shyness disappeared and it was like ‘old times’ again. Like I’d never left.

Except, I had. For more than 3 weeks. And in that time, a lot happened with him and myself.

He was super busy. Working from home, for himself, the workload had skyrocketed. December had been a quiet period; the end of Jan was when it all started to pick up and go crazy again.

And here I was, basically a bum with nothing to do. So while he had meetings and video conferences and emails to write and people to hound (and so much money owed to him, while at the same time needing to pay for a bunch of stuff), I had… nothing to do.

I hung out with my friends. But they work, too. And some are not even in the country. So for company and entertainment, I sometimes had to rely on my busy boyfriend. I felt bad; I felt like I was in his way. I didn’t want to be too demanding, but I was going stir-crazy at his place. He’d be holed up in his office, working away and I’d be… watching Just Shoot Me, or Modern Family, or whatever it was he put on for me to keep me entertained.

It’s an awful feeling sometimes, when someone has so much going on in their lives and at the same time tries to do everything they can to keep you occupied and happy, yet you still feel… bored and cabin-feverish. I wanted to go out and DO stuff. But he didn’t really have time for all that, not at the moment. Things were picking up for his business(es) and only getting better. He’s smart, charismatic, ambitious – of course he’s got heaps of people wanting his services and expertise. (Myself included – haw, haw, haw).

Anyways. The reason I am such a BUM with NOTHING to do is because I am waiting for the University to send me my COE – Confirmation of Enrollment. I paid for the first semester’s fees on Monday and was told I’d receive it within 48 hours. 5 days later and nothing. It’s frustrating because I need to go and apply for my Student Visa as soon as possible (semester starts on the 28th and I haven’t even enrolled in any units!), and I can’t do it without the COE.

For God’s sake, what’s taking so long? Checking my email every day is excruciating when I haven’t received anything. I called them yesterday and was assured that I’d receive the COE by the end of the day.

Noooope, it’s still not THERE!

Please, ECU, I beg of you, send it to me so I can get moving on this thing!! And so I have something to DO while my boyfriend works!

God damn. I can’t wait for semester to start so I can stop feeling so useless.

Read Full Post »