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Challenge Yourself.


I’ve been at Uni, doing my Graduate Diploma in Education (Secondary) at ECU.

That’s one of the main reasons why I’ve been AWOL when it comes to this blog (sorry, Danu!!!).

This week has been especially challenging. It’s professional practice week, a 1-week orientation/observation prac to get acquainted with this whole teaching thingymajiggy.

Although I’m not a complete newbie to teaching (I did 8 weeks of teaching during my CELTA course last year), this is a whole different ballgame.

Teenagers are involved.

Remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, 16??

It was stressful. A hormone-filled time of dizzying confusion. When you were trying to carve out your own niche, yet at the same time feeling compelled to conform to the status quo, to belong, to fit in with your peers. A phase in your life where you felt so afraid, so incapable, so helpless, so uncomfortable in your own skin (or was it just me?).

In any case, I find myself fighting the automatic reaction in my mind (“ugh, stinkin’ teenagers!”) whenever they do or say something insolent or obnoxious, and trying to remember what it was like for me at the time.

It has been an interesting, scary and exciting experience so far. I haven’t actually taught a full class but I have participated in lessons and conducted pop quizzes (which I’m sure they just LOVE). I am getting to know the kids a bit more, learning as many names as I can for when I return in May for 4 weeks (yikes! Caffeine, here I come!).

I didn’t realise just how exhausting it is to be a teacher. That is, a real teacher who takes her job seriously and actually cares what the students are up to and how they perform. I come home every day, at the latest by 4.30pm, and I am SPENT. I crash on the couch and watch an episode of “Charmed” (…I have no excuse for this), then fall asleep in bed for an hour. Then I get up and drag myself to the dining room table where I have been doing most of my work (can’t, just CAN’T work in my room, too distracting what with the bed yelling at me to come and sleep all the time).  And I get fuck all done, and it’s already bedtime.

God am I tired. I didn’t think teaching was gonna be easy, but boy did I not realise how much it takes out of you.

Phew!

Aaaannnddd of course I’ve had NO social life for the past week. Which basically means I have spent all of two hours in total over the last week with my boyfriend. Ugh. I miss him! I miss my friends! I miss my family!!!!

Boo hoo. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Inayah.

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Hobi


Kadang-kala, apabila saya mempunyai masa untuk “observe and reflect”, saya tertanya-tanya pada diri sendiri…

… warganegara “down under” ni… asyik minuuuuuummmm ajer… takde kerja lain ke? Dok minum arak sepanjang malam… tak bosan ke???

Boy do I know how to entertain myself with my crappy BM lol

Floating in Limbo


I’ve been back in Perth for a week now.

How lovely it was to touch down at 530am, get through immigration quickly, and see my bag almost as soon as I got to the carousel at baggage claim. I had no problems getting through customs either. It was all really quick and easy, really.

The flight was okay – I never really sleep well while flying anyway. I had gotten maybe a grand total of 2 hours’ sleep. I was TIRED.

But when I walked through the exit and into the arrivals lounge, my eyes scanning the crowd for my new boyfriend (of less than 2 months), I felt my lethargy melt away when I saw him. Standing there, smiling at me, waving.

I walked up to him, we embraced and the first words he said to me: “I missed you.”

It was lovely. I had been away for just over 3 weeks. A long time to be away from someone you just got together with. Nevertheless, the shyness disappeared and it was like ‘old times’ again. Like I’d never left.

Except, I had. For more than 3 weeks. And in that time, a lot happened with him and myself.

He was super busy. Working from home, for himself, the workload had skyrocketed. December had been a quiet period; the end of Jan was when it all started to pick up and go crazy again.

And here I was, basically a bum with nothing to do. So while he had meetings and video conferences and emails to write and people to hound (and so much money owed to him, while at the same time needing to pay for a bunch of stuff), I had… nothing to do.

I hung out with my friends. But they work, too. And some are not even in the country. So for company and entertainment, I sometimes had to rely on my busy boyfriend. I felt bad; I felt like I was in his way. I didn’t want to be too demanding, but I was going stir-crazy at his place. He’d be holed up in his office, working away and I’d be… watching Just Shoot Me, or Modern Family, or whatever it was he put on for me to keep me entertained.

It’s an awful feeling sometimes, when someone has so much going on in their lives and at the same time tries to do everything they can to keep you occupied and happy, yet you still feel… bored and cabin-feverish. I wanted to go out and DO stuff. But he didn’t really have time for all that, not at the moment. Things were picking up for his business(es) and only getting better. He’s smart, charismatic, ambitious – of course he’s got heaps of people wanting his services and expertise. (Myself included – haw, haw, haw).

Anyways. The reason I am such a BUM with NOTHING to do is because I am waiting for the University to send me my COE – Confirmation of Enrollment. I paid for the first semester’s fees on Monday and was told I’d receive it within 48 hours. 5 days later and nothing. It’s frustrating because I need to go and apply for my Student Visa as soon as possible (semester starts on the 28th and I haven’t even enrolled in any units!), and I can’t do it without the COE.

For God’s sake, what’s taking so long? Checking my email every day is excruciating when I haven’t received anything. I called them yesterday and was assured that I’d receive the COE by the end of the day.

Noooope, it’s still not THERE!

Please, ECU, I beg of you, send it to me so I can get moving on this thing!! And so I have something to DO while my boyfriend works!

God damn. I can’t wait for semester to start so I can stop feeling so useless.

Kid Stuff


Just posting an old, old photo of myself and my sister Natalie when we were kids… I was probably 6 years old in this photo, though I’m not 100% sure. I was eating Baskin Robbins ice-cream by the looks of it!

 

Gossip Girls (and Boys)


You know, like everyone else, I do enjoy a juicy bit of gossip every now and then. Sure I do. I’m not a saint; I’m certainly not above having a chin-wag with the bestie over coffee.

But sometimes, the gossiping does get a little old. There’s only so much to talk about before it gets stale, repetitive, and plain uninteresting, anyway. I’ve noticed that as I get older, I find there is more to talk about than other people I don’t give a damn about.

But somehow, there are people who can’t stop talking about others / you.

I personally don’t care what people have to say about me, because:

a) I know who my true friends are, and those close to me know me well enough to know how I am, and they like me the way I am;

b) the people who have stuff to say about me that may not be true or in any way constructive, obviously do not know me that well and aren’t really my friends, and subsequently do not matter to me at all;

c) I know who I am, and I’m always true to myself, so… I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT WHAT PEOPLE SAY OR THINK.

Still, you do get people saying things like, “Oh, I heard some people said this and that about you,” and “People who consider you their friend said you’re like this and like that sometimes,” and etc. The person(s) saying this kinda stuff to me, invariably, is a person who hasn’t known me that long, or deeply, and hangs out with acquaintances of mine that she or he assumes are bosom buddies of mine who know me inside and out.

They aren’t, and they don’t. And furthermore, they’re just talking about me because they have nothing better to talk about. Honestly, and I’m not trying to be my own detractor here, but they don’t even KNOW me, what could they possibly have to talk about? Not much. And if that’s the case, WOW, you really don’t have much else to discuss with your friends, do you?

And why would you assume that I would care who said what, and that it really matters to me in my life, and the grander scheme of things? It doesn’t. I am happy doing what I’m doing, I finally feel I have my priorities straight, especially when it comes to spending my time with people.

I also really hate it when people get ’emo’ or make snide comments about me not contacting them when I’m in town. Like, “Oh, I had to hear it from my hairdresser that you’re back in town, why you never contact me?”

First of all, have we ever hung out, like EVER, outside of a group of mutual friends type of situation? No.

Are we even close friends, and do we ever call/text/Skype when I’m out of town? No.

Have I even seen you in the last 6 to 12 months? No.

So… err… what in tarnation?

My true friends never make such comments. You wouldn’t believe it, but sometimes I DO get so busy that I don’t end up being able to hang out or see my friends when I’m in town. Unfortunately. But they never hold it against me. They never ‘merajuk’ with me. They understand that I have a life and things are going on that, sometimes, are beyond my control. Family stuff gets in the way a lot (and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing per se). Chores, errands, timing is bad, etc.

Sometimes I just don’t have the time to return a call or reply to a text until the next day. And sometimes my friends are the same – I don’t get a reply ’til hours or a day or so later. It’s okay, it’s fine. I understand, you’re busy, and you’ll contact me when you’re free. And they get it, too.

So I guess what I mean to say with this post is, screw the naysayers, they don’t know you that well if they’re badmouthing you or making snide remarks. At the end of the day, we really don’t need to waste our time on them.

The Bee’s Knees


This post is just a shoutout to my good friend Esther Rani! She’s having knee surgery (on both knees – eek!) today, right about now, actually…

Best of luck, sweetie! I’m sure everything will be fine and you’ll recover in no time 🙂

BIIIG hugs!!

Cheap and Oh-So-Good!


So last night I went to visit my sister in Hartamas. She was working late at the office and I went to drop off her contact lenses she asked me to get for her, as well as for a quick catch-up.

She hadn’t had dinner and asked me if I could buy her some Burger King for dinner. I’d already eaten so I bought her the combo meal and got myself an iced coffee.

I’d never had the iced coffee at Burger King before, but I’ve had many an iced coffee from various places and what I normally expect (and get) is a sweet, creamy yummy drink. At RM7.50 (or thereabouts), I expected at least the same from Burger King. I was debating on getting an Iced Milo which was half the price, or the Iced Coffee, then decided, ah the hell with it, I’ll have an iced coffee.

Imagine my surprise when the girl who was making my iced coffee basically poured some regular, hot black coffee into a cup, and plonked some ice cubes into it, and threw down a few sugar sachets on the counter in front of me. There, iced coffee.

Err… no. Not for that price, and not from Burger King (I expected more!).

So I sipped forlornly at my drink as I walked out and immediately went “ugh” under my breath. I didn’t add the sugar because it was regular granulated sugar and that won’t dissolve in a cold drink, would it?

In the end, I threw the iced coffee away, ordered a teh ais kurang manis from the mamak across the street and paid a fraction of the price – RM1.60.

And it was oh-so-good. Mmm…