My Own Drum

Gossip Girls (and Boys)

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You know, like everyone else, I do enjoy a juicy bit of gossip every now and then. Sure I do. I’m not a saint; I’m certainly not above having a chin-wag with the bestie over coffee.

But sometimes, the gossiping does get a little old. There’s only so much to talk about before it gets stale, repetitive, and plain uninteresting, anyway. I’ve noticed that as I get older, I find there is more to talk about than other people I don’t give a damn about.

But somehow, there are people who can’t stop talking about others / you.

I personally don’t care what people have to say about me, because:

a) I know who my true friends are, and those close to me know me well enough to know how I am, and they like me the way I am;

b) the people who have stuff to say about me that may not be true or in any way constructive, obviously do not know me that well and aren’t really my friends, and subsequently do not matter to me at all;

c) I know who I am, and I’m always true to myself, so… I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT WHAT PEOPLE SAY OR THINK.

Still, you do get people saying things like, “Oh, I heard some people said this and that about you,” and “People who consider you their friend said you’re like this and like that sometimes,” and etc. The person(s) saying this kinda stuff to me, invariably, is a person who hasn’t known me that long, or deeply, and hangs out with acquaintances of mine that she or he assumes are bosom buddies of mine who know me inside and out.

They aren’t, and they don’t. And furthermore, they’re just talking about me because they have nothing better to talk about. Honestly, and I’m not trying to be my own detractor here, but they don’t even KNOW me, what could they possibly have to talk about? Not much. And if that’s the case, WOW, you really don’t have much else to discuss with your friends, do you?

And why would you assume that I would care who said what, and that it really matters to me in my life, and the grander scheme of things? It doesn’t. I am happy doing what I’m doing, I finally feel I have my priorities straight, especially when it comes to spending my time with people.

I also really hate it when people get ’emo’ or make snide comments about me not contacting them when I’m in town. Like, “Oh, I had to hear it from my hairdresser that you’re back in town, why you never contact me?”

First of all, have we ever hung out, like EVER, outside of a group of mutual friends type of situation? No.

Are we even close friends, and do we ever call/text/Skype when I’m out of town? No.

Have I even seen you in the last 6 to 12 months? No.

So… err… what in tarnation?

My true friends never make such comments. You wouldn’t believe it, but sometimes I DO get so busy that I don’t end up being able to hang out or see my friends when I’m in town. Unfortunately. But they never hold it against me. They never ‘merajuk’ with me. They understand that I have a life and things are going on that, sometimes, are beyond my control. Family stuff gets in the way a lot (and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing per se). Chores, errands, timing is bad, etc.

Sometimes I just don’t have the time to return a call or reply to a text until the next day. And sometimes my friends are the same – I don’t get a reply ’til hours or a day or so later. It’s okay, it’s fine. I understand, you’re busy, and you’ll contact me when you’re free. And they get it, too.

So I guess what I mean to say with this post is, screw the naysayers, they don’t know you that well if they’re badmouthing you or making snide remarks. At the end of the day, we really don’t need to waste our time on them.

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