My Own Drum

How To Ruin Someone’s Christmas


Back in December, my folks came down to Perth for the family Christmas holiday.

The original plan was for me to come to Malaysia, and we were gonna chill out in Langkawi, but then they worked out that it was gonna cost about the same for them to come over to Perth, so why not? After all,  my brother-in-law TJ had never been to Australia so it was a cool idea.

My dad was gonna transfer the cash for the holiday spending to my Australian bank account about two weeks before their arrival on the 22nd. And this is where the drama began.

First of all, let me say that we’ve done a million and one transfers just like it before, from the time I was at Uni in Perth (Murdoch) in ’04. Nothing special. Get all the details correct and it’s done.

Well, more than a week after my dad told me he’d transferred the money, it still hadn’t shown up in my bank account 😦

After a lot of to-ing and fro-ing with his bank people there in KL, they claimed that the money had gone through to the other side (i.e. the Australian bank),  but the bank wasn’t accepting it through because my dad got the postcode slightly wrong for my home address. Instead of 6153 he’d written 6155 or something.

Now, that sounded like a load of horseshit to me, but I don’t really know how these things work, do I? Also, I could tell my dad was getting stressed out because of the slightly accusing tone he was using with me, as if I had given him the wrong address. I double-checked my email that I’d sent him and all the details were correct. My dad’s eyesight is not too good these days so it was him who’d written it wrongly, but NO biggie – as long as the other more important details were correct (like bank account number, swift code, etc), it should be fine, right?

Right. I called up my bank in Perth, explaining the situation and the lady confirmed with me that the wrong postcode won’t cause the problem in any way. If the account name, number, BSB and swift code are correct, the money would definitely go through.

Again with the to-ing and fro-ing with my dad, and his bank. They started giving other excuses, promising my dad they’d send the money over soon and fix the problem and whatnot. WTF?

I was getting really stressed out on the phone with my increasingly annoyed dad. “Can you tell them they’re ruining our Christmas?” I asked him during one conversation.

Finally my dad managed to get them to scan a copy of the transfer document and email it to me, asking me to print it out and take it to my bank in Perth and demand to know what’s happened to the money.

The bank, Bank Muamalat in PKNS, are a bunch of unprofessional, dumbass, lazy, stupid monkeys. When they sent me the document, the email DIDN’T read:

Dear Inayah,

Attached is the document of the transfer to show to your bank. Please let us know if there’s a problem with it and we apologise for any inconvenience caused.

Instead, it read:

This attachment show to your bank.

How fucking rude and unprofessional! “This attachment show to your bank”?? I’ll bloody show you my foot up your ARSE!

The worst part? When I checked out the document, it said they transferred the money to WESTPAC instead of BANKWEST. How STOOOPID can you bloody get? Those are two different fucking banks. Are they fucking blind and retarded??

I’m sorry la but this is truly a case of Melayu bodoh. Hey, if they didn’t exist this shit won’t happen, alright?

Anyway I replied to that pathetic excuse of an email telling them it was the wrong bank and to please explain. Did they reply? Of course not! They’re not professional! Or intelligent!

In the end, the money bounced back to my dad’s bank account and he had to end up changing money and bringing it to Perth with him, since the money wasn’t gonna bounce back to his account in time to be transferred over again or something.

Talk about needless drama and stupidity! I hate banks! Especially Melayu-run ones!! So inefficient!! Grrr..